How to Keep the Peace with Your Mother During Stressful Wedding Planning



BY GENEVIEVE CONDON

 

The day has finally come. Your significant other finally popped the question, and you are over the moon excited. You’ve snagged all the popular wedding magazines, and with your best friend by your side, you know wedding planning is going to be fun, exciting and a breeze.

 

NOTHING is going to go wrong and the weather? Sunny; no chance of rain. Perfection.

 

But, wait…your mother-in-law-to-be is already chomping at the bit to help. She has her own planner and a list of things that absolutely must be done and included in your wedding. Maybe you had a great relationship with her before being engaged, maybe not, but here are a few ways to help keep the peace and your sanity during this high stress but exciting time in your life.

 

Involve Your Partner

Here’s the thing. It’s your partner’s mother. Involve them in the understanding and delivering of the message on how the wedding planning process will go. It is vital that you are on the same page and have the same expectations. If not, not only will there be a rife between you and your mother-in-law but you and your spouse as well.

 

Involve Her in Things That You Approve

Have a few tasks or projects that you won’t mind her help with? By firmly setting boundaries and expectations from the beginning (after consulting your partner, of course), this will prevent any confusion. Providing ways for her to be engaged throughout the process will allow her to feel thought of and included. After all, this is an exciting time for everyone!

 

Get a Wedding Planner

I know this costs money, but having a third party as a buffer is a huge help. Not only will they help with planning, ensuring everything works like a well-oiled machine on your big day, but any confrontations or issues, they can be the middleman and diffuse situations. Think of all the stress that will become someone else’s worry and you may not even know about?

 

Learn to Say “No”

This is huge and often a struggle for many. Say it with me…“N.O.” Being able to say no to requests, additions or tasks people want to take over will be necessary. While it isn’t fun to say no, setting boundaries is going to be key. Hopefully, by using the steps above, saying no won’t have to happen too often.

 

Self-Care

Time is precious and there never seems to be enough of it when planning a wedding, but ensuring that you take care of yourself is essential. Get enough sleep, eat! Get a massage or your nails done, something to take your mind off the endless task of planning. Perhaps too, try to spend some time talking about something other than the wedding! I know, easier said than done, but making sure wedding planning doesn’t consume your life is another factor in self-care. Finding that balance is key!

 


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