Getting Your Groom Involved


It’s not long after you announce your engagement that the questions begin to flood about your upcoming nuptials. What are your wedding colors going to be? What time of year will the wedding be? Are you thinking buffet or sit down for catering?

As the questions keep coming, it may become clear that the direction they are looking at when asking is pointed at you and you alone. Certainly, they know there are two parties involved here – it takes two to tango, after all! The reality can often be, however, that the bride-to-be tends to take the reins when it comes to all things wedding planning. It’s important to know that just like your marriage can be whatever you wish to make it, so can your wedding planning.

If you long for your fiancé to be your wedding planner partner-in-crime, there are some great ways to help him become involved. You want the process to be fun and productive for both of you! After all, you’ve got a wedding to plan!

Find Out Which Parts of the Wedding He’s Most Excited About

The wedding and entertainment industries have done a great job of making the world think that most women have dreamed about their wedding day since they were little girls. The truth is, while your fiancé may not have been playing wedding when he was five, there are still some aspects of your big day he’s excited about. Ask him what part of the festivities leading up to the wedding and the wedding itself are important to him. You may be surprised at his response and be able to include him a little more knowing where his interests are when it comes to the planning.

Schedule Appointments and Planning Time in Advance

Carve out time each month to talk about where you are in the planning process. You can make it a fun brunch date or time on the couch after church to make decisions together and check a few things off the list as needed. Schedule this time in advance along with any appointments you want your fiancé to attend with you, such as the cake tasting. The last thing your groom is going to want to do is cancel his plans with friends because there’s a last-minute appointment at the floral shop or caterer. Try to avoid making every moment about the wedding, and enjoy the time in between now and then. Remember, the goal is to have a marriage even more beautiful than your wedding.

Take Inventory of What Skills Your Groom-to-Be Has

As you create your wedding to-do list, it can start to feel a little overwhelming. Think about what responsibilities and roles you may be able to delegate to one another. What is your future husband really good at? Maybe he has talent when it comes to negotiation or woodworking? Was he a finance major in college or has years of creative writing under his belt? Look at the list together, and see where he could really shine and help tackle parts of the planning. If you find enjoyment in some of the tasks you are working on, you’ll both enjoy planning as a whole more too!

If All Else Fails, Ask Him to Take Care of the “Fun” Stuff

When push comes to shove, you may have a man on your hands who has little to no interest in the wedding planning department. Regardless, nobody gets a “get out of jail free” card! Give him some of the tasks that err on the more fun side of things. You can have him choose gifts for his groomsmen, set up your wedding website, research travel and honeymoon destinations, and of course, the fun task of keeping his mother calm and out of your hair! When you split things up, everything suddenly seems more doable through the lens of a team. What better way to get started in your marriage than teaming up from the very beginning?