Expressing Your Thankfulness

When it comes to your wedding, there’s a lot of room for customization and personalization. However, one thing is absolute when it comes to your wedding — the “thank you” cards. To eliminate any confusion, here are some guidelines you should follow:

  1. Notes should be written as soon as possible. Some people say that a couple has up to a year to send “thank you” cards, but this is incorrect. Three months is really the maximum time that should pass between receipt of the gift and acknowledgment with a “thank you” card.
  2. In-person “thank you’s” are great, but manners dictate a written expression of gratitude.
  3. Phone calls, emails, pre-printed, generic Facebook posts or fill-in-the-blank cards are not acceptable “thank you’s.”
  4. When you receive a group gift, each person who contributed should receive an individual “thank you” card. For instance, if a gift was given by Mr. and Mrs. Smith and their over-18-year-old daughter, Mr. and Mrs. Smith should receive a card, and their 18-year-old daughter should receive a card.
  5. If you receive a shower gift and a wedding gift from the same person or family, send separate cards for each gift since they were given for separate occasions.
  6. Acknowledge the gift in the card. Though you don’t have to state the amount of a cash gift; simply state what you plan to do with the money.
  7. If you receive a gift you don’t like, be gracious. No one needs to know if you plan to return it.

Recommendations for writing the “thank you” cards:

  1. Leave your cards, stamps and a pen on your kitchen counter or dining room table so that as you receive gifts, you can write “thank you” cards immediately.
  2. Make a list of gifts you received and whom the gifts were from. Make a goal to write three to five cards per day.
  3. Use blue or black ink.
  4. Divide and conquer. “Thank you” cards can be written by the groom, too!
  5. As tempting as it is, don’t use your married name until after the wedding.

Who should receive a “thank you” card?

  1. Those who give gifts or money for engagement, shower or wedding gifts.
  2. The bridal party should receive a “thank you” card to acknowledge their role in your wedding.
  3. Engagement party or bridal shower host(s)/hostess(es).
  4. Friends who help out with various wedding tasks, including accepting delivery of gifts, dropping off tuxedos after the wedding or pet sitting the dog while you’re on your honeymoon.
  5. Vendors who exceed your expectations and go the extra mile.
  6. Your parents, in-laws or whoever is financially supporting your wedding.

Sample text:

Dear Aunt Betty, Thank you so much for the placemats! They look so nice on our dining room table and make the room look so homey! We hope you will join us for dinner soon, so you can see them for yourself!

Dear Joe and Sally, Thank you so much for the bath towels. They are so soft and match the vanity set well! We appreciate them so much and are glad you were able to share our special day with us!

Dear Grandpa, Thank you for your generous gift! We are excited to use it for new curtains for our living room and appreciate your kindness!