Blending Households: From “Yours & Mine” to “Ours”

Venue booked…check. Invitations ordered…check. Wedding dress altered…check. Bachelorette party planned…check. Combining your stuff with his…YIKES!

If you are engaged, you are either in the process of moving in together or at least starting to think about it (or you may already be living together, and that’s okay, too). It can be extremely overwhelming combining your stuff with his. Here are a few tips to remember while going through the process of blending your households.

  • Be aware of things that are sentimental to your future spouse. He may not want to get rid of his 20-year-old red leather chair that you despise — and that’s okay! Perhaps you can compromise by asking that the chair go in his “man cave” and not in the middle of the living room. On the flip side, try to be accommodating. If your future spouse feels strongly about getting rid of something, and it’s not super sentimental to you, get rid of it! Remember, whatever it is, it is just STUFF! Building a strong marriage is far more important than any “stuff” you may have.
  • Get rid of duplicates. You may both love your set of mixing bowls; but the reality is, you only need one set of mixing bowls.
  • Combine styles. Your current home may be very feminine and his very masculine. Your new home together needs to reflect both of your styles. Consider consigning current accessories and/or furniture that either of you may have that is one extreme or the other. With the money you make consigning these items, you can go out and purchase new furniture and accessories together.
  • Pinterest! Looking through Pinterest together can help you both decipher what your styles are and can help you come up with a “combined” style that you both love. Make sure you do this BEFORE you head out shopping.
  • Ask each other’s opinion. As much as you may want to, try not to go out and purchase new dishes, choose a paint color or pick out a fabric for your sofa without first asking your future spouse what he or she thinks. I know my husband doesn’t have an opinion on most of it, but he always knows what he does NOT like and isn’t shy about telling me! You can avoid potential arguments by taking the time to ask their opinions on anything before you buy. I promise they will appreciate that you value their opinions.
  • Ask for help. Consider using an interior decorator and/or a re-designer to help you and your future spouse with 1) figuring out your style, and 2) arranging any of your current furniture and accessories. It is always helpful to have an outside eye…a decorator will have ideas for things that you already own that you would have never considered!
  • Take it slow. It takes time to create a home with a style you both love. Not to mention it’s expensive! So don’t get in a rush. Take your time making decisions, and enjoy the process. It took us more than two years to take my husband’s house from a bachelor pad to an eclectic, cozy, chic home that we both loved.
  • Have fun! Blending households is a blast! It’s a time when you get to totally recreate the look of your home and have it reflect the two of you as a new family. Enjoy every minute of it, and don’t forget to reserve the perfect spot to display your favorite wedding photo!