BY TABATHA RENEGAR
Bridezilla may refer to: A bride whose behavior is seen as demanding or unreasonable. The word uses the -zilla suffix derived from the Japanese movie monster Godzilla. ~ Source: Wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridezilla
Let me go on record as saying that I despise the term “bridezilla.” Or Groomzilla, Momzilla, etc. In fact, I’m not even sure Godzilla was a nice thing to call that poor, misunderstood beast in the movies! But, that’s for another article altogether.
You’re engaged, and plans are about to begin for what may be the most important day of your life thus far. You have dreams. You have ideas. You have cramped fingers from adding wedding-related pins to your Pinterest boards! How can you strike a balance between doing whatever it takes to see your visions become reality and, well, reality?
Here are some key pointers to keeping your stress level as low as possible while also feeling good that your wedding day is being planned to your liking and that your hopes and dreams are center stage. I am not going to call this article the “How Not to be a B-word” article because I have already stated my thoughts on that word. I prefer a more positive approach.
Let’s go with this:
Your Wedding Planning: How to Enjoy the Planning as Much as THE Day Without Becoming Less Fun to be Around in 3 Simple Steps (But, if you insist: How to Avoid Being Labeled a Bridezilla)
Make Lists. This is my suggestion for just about everything in life that can be a stressor or a challenge to sort out. However, in this case, I suggest that you make it so that you can then scratch through it with a vengeance and make a new list. Repeatedly. List #1 of your dream wedding “needs” might have something like this on it, for example:
“Hire Cinderella’s glass carriage to be pulled by six white horses and led by an Elizabethan costumed coachman.”
Write it down if it’s your fantasy! Then break it down…is a glass carriage even something that can be hired, and what would the cost be for a 30-minute ride? Ditto for white horses. And really – is an Elizabethan costume flattering on any man? Chances are that you, your new spouse and your family will be just as delighted with a charming horse and buggy, driven by a nice guy in a tux and bow-tie.
Choose Acceptance. A wedding day – or if we’re honest – a wedding weekend has a lot of moving parts! When you consider all the logistics and details, it cannot be compared to a dinner party or even a black tie gala. There are numerous arrangements to be made, relationships to be managed and timelines to create and follow. It would be impossible for a day with as many components as a wedding day to go off 100% without a hitch! So, accepting that fact and knowing that chances are unless your clergy skips town, whatever the thing is that goes wrong will not make you any less married at the end of the day! In fact, if you can dig deep inside for your funny bone, the “thing” that goes wrong might just be the thing that you both laugh about over each anniversary dinner! The DJ playing only Mariachi music all night instead of swing might be the story your kids roll their eyes at and get tired of hearing!
Above ALL Things, Keep Perspective. The love of your life asked you to marry him/her. I am willing to bet that at no time during that proposal did he/she say “I will love you, and I want to spend my life with you if your bouquet contains fresh peonies, your bridesmaids’ dresses are ombre and the cake is gluten free.” Nope. And, you know why? Because truly, the ONLY thing that is really important on your wedding day is the 15-20 minutes when two people who are madly in love with each other stand in front of an officiant, a rabbi or clergyman and pronounce to the world that they are soul mates; that for them, the search is over and a new life as one can begin. This beautiful, remarkable moment can happen in the rain, and you’re still just as in love.
It can happen even if his tux doesn’t fit and your veil blew off. It can happen with joy, laughter and delight because you have the rest of your lives together for swing music, Cinderella carriages and gluten-free cake.
There is no room for any kind of ‘Zilla on your most spectacular wedding day.