Advice for the Groom

Many magazines and wedding resources focus on advice for the bride or the mother of the bride, but there are certainly questions from other members of the wedding party that need answers! While it is easy to assume the groom has no opinions about the big day and just does what his bride tells him, many modern-day grooms want to be involved.

Maybe your groom doesn’t want to wear tails, maybe he is allergic to a particular flower that you never knew about or maybe he has always wanted a particular song to be played during the ceremony. Believe it or not, many men have thought about this day before the real planning began. Maybe since the moment he met his future bride!

Below are a few areas in which you may want to trust your man to take the lead:

  • Choosing his own formalwear. Your groom knows his own taste. While you can suggest how formal the attire needs to be, why not let him choose the cuts and overall design? He wants to be comfortable as well! This is a decision you can certainly make together – little details like the color of the tie or the flowers in the boutonniere can be agreed on later.
  • Selecting his groomsmen/groomswomen. Yes, I said “groomswomen.” While it may not be recognized yet by autocorrect, this is a term that exists in modern weddings. Many of us have good friends of the opposite sex, and we want them to stand up there with us right beside our other best friends. Let your groom choose his attendants, and celebrate the fact that he is a forward thinker who doesn’t shy away from breaking the norm a little!
  • Picking the flowers for the boutonnieres. Why not? Does he have a favorite flower? Does his mom? Maybe he has an opinion on the subject, and as long as it goes with the color scheme, this is a great area for him to get involved in the day!
  • Writing his own vows. Some couples are brave enough to write their own vows, so if you are going to go for it, why not go all the way? Let the vows be a secret until you are standing in front of your family, friends and guests…don’t micromanage your groom when he is writing them…let the words come from his heart no matter how you might think they could have been written better.
  • Bring him along to register. You are picking out china, crystal and silverware. Don’t you think there’s a chance your beloved might want some say in something you’ll use for years and years to come? There may even be some items he’d like for around the house that you wouldn’t have considered, like a tool or a grill gadget. Now’s the time!
  • The major decisions. While this really goes without saying, the man of your dreams should be consulted before you finalized any dates, venues, themes or major vendors like caterers and photographers. You want him to enjoy the day as much as you do, so allow him to be involved as much as he wants to be!

This is one of the most important days in both of your lives, and it is a great initial test of how well you work together under pressure and stress. Whether he wants to be consulted on the details of the big day or not, he’ll appreciate your thoughtfulness in asking. And, if he wants to get involved, it’s just one more person to take some of the burden off you! Congratulations…enjoy the planning process!